Things You Don’t Say to an Unemployed Recent College Grad (And How to Respond)

1. Did you get a job yet?
Reply: Fuck you. If I had a job, I would have announced it on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Blogger.

2. Are you still working at that (insert demeaning minimum wage job you had in college)?
Reply: Fuck off I hate you.

3. How are you paying rent?
Reply: I don’t eat. That’s how. Also, fuck off.

4. How come they didn’t hire you?
Reply: I don’t know. I’m awesome.

5. Fuck (insert company). You can do better!
Reply: Haha thanks but actually I can’t. That was an entry level job.

 This list will be updated as I hear more idiotic things being said to me or others who are also in this predicament.